Things you don’t want to hear during surgery
1. Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
2. Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop.
3. Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!
4. Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
5. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
6. Hand me that…uh…that…uh…thingie.
7. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
8. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
9. Darn, there go the lights again…
10. You know, there’s big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy’s got two of them.
11. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
12. Could you stop that thing from beating; it’s throwing my concentration off.
13. What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?
14. Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
15. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
16. Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?
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